Imagine being with someone who has the ability to fully take you in, to fully see you, to fully feel you, to fully *read* you such that they can move 💃 WITH YOU in every possible way: primally 🐍, somatically 🕺, emotionally ❤️, intellectually 🧠, spiritually 🕉.

What would it be like? What would it feel like?

For most, intimacy is the path to reaching the point of two beings dancers 👯 coming together to be seen and felt such that the experience is one of melding, of moving as one.

In a way, this is the relational equivalent of flow 🌊, of moving as one with another, of melding into each other's divinity.

Lately I've been exploring the power of attunement as a pathway to seeing and feeling another human or animal.

It seems simple enough at first to move with someone, but it is deceivingly complex to read another such that, as we learn to read them...

⭐️ Connection (the subtle call and response between two human animals) is felt
⭐️ Trust (the belief that connection will happen in the next moment) grows
⭐️ Consent (the openness to the next moment of connection) is freely and openly given

Contact improv (a form of fluid dance involving movement, touch between bodies, weight transfer, pace, and rhythm) may be the closest version that we have on how to do this well.

But now, imagine that it is not only physical bodies dancing together, but also emotional bodies and hearts, inner animals, minds, and souls simultaneously moving together...

❤️ Seeing each other
❤️ Feeling each other
❤️ Loving each other

This is why we attune: to connect, trust, and open up to the mystery of melding into each other.

And this, of all things, is the kind of sexy and pleasurable engagements I want.

In this first episode official episode of her podcast, Shezza and I dive into the power of attunement, and only manage to barely scratch the surface. And it's good, really good.

In this captivating Divine and Alive podcast episode, join relationship educator Philippe Lewis as he delves into the profound importance of attunement in sex and relationships. Lewis explores attunement in different contexts, such as contact improv, cuddling, and conversation, highlighting its role in fostering understanding and trust. The speakers discuss misattunement and its connection to trauma, emphasizing the significance of redirecting conversations, setting boundaries, and staying connected to enhance attunement. Dive into attachment theory, the journey towards secure attachment, and the power of self-awareness in building fulfilling relationships. Discover the need for emotional sovereignty and self-regulation, the difference between desirable fear and oxytocin's grounding high, and the changing arousal dynamics as individuals age.

Uncover the importance of being fully present, holding connections lightly, and approaching relationships with curiosity. Explore the challenges of maintaining engagement in personal and online relationships, and learn the value of nonjudgmental communication and understanding perspectives. Gain insights into developing secure and collaborative relationships through curiosity, presence, and self-awareness. Ultimately, this episode of Dive and Alive highlights the transformative power of attunement in creating genuine connections and fostering trust.

Time Stamps:

Introduction to attunement. (0:00)
What creates a lack of attunement? (5:25)
Things that cause miss attunement. (13:53)
Everything that goes up has to come back down. (25:33)
Hormone levels go down. (29:19)
Holding the moment lightly without expectation. (34:31)
Vulnerability and connection to self. (39:44)